Three years ago, in a bid to understand myself better, I
made a conscious effort to start connecting with more people. Standing in line
at the store I would offer a “hello,” or “have a good day” to the person next
to me.
While the clerk was checking out my items, I would ask how
she/he was. Inevitably they would look up with a hasty “fine” until they
realized I was maintaining eye contact with them. Then each and every time I
saw the person relax, break into a smile and say “I’m doing really well.”
I’m convinced that is the response I get because once people
realize someone is present with them, they really are fine. Once in a while
someone will tell me they feel under the weather, or that the day isn’t going
so good. But they never elaborate on hardship, turning it into an opportunity
to emotionally spew. Again, I have to think that it may be because someone is
there to receive them just as they are in the moment.
I think that’s what we all want, a place to gather with
people who are ready and willing to receive us just as we are. When people know
they’re being heard, and they’re in an environment that is about happiness and
support, there isn’t much room to wallow in self pity. To paraphrase: people want
to get on with the business of living once they realize life holds more than
suffering and despair.
Since the inception of Gardenspot, we have been turning over
ideas in our mind about its formation, what shape it will take and what we
would ultimate like to see. The concept and design remains simple—a place for
people to meet, glean ideas, take them to a neighbor or friend, and implement
them.
Some people may just come for a book study. Some may just
want to sit in on a seminar, or take a class on love and the human condition.
It’s all good. Gardenspot’s theme will remain the same; the practice of kindness
in a safe environment. It’s about coming to a meeting place in which you can
look at someone and offer a simple “good morning” or “how are you today”
without having to worry about a hidden agenda, or having to present a false
front.
I believe once kindness is practiced on a regular basis pretenses fade away, and the authentic self, that little part of us that is apt
to be shut away in a world that is sometimes too big and confusing to
comprehend, becomes the prominent voice in our lives. And once it does, life becomes
much easier, much simpler and filled with much more joy.
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